Monday 08.15.2022

I hung out with my friends during our weekly cafe sketch. My best friend surprised me with a Pompompurin plush... isnt he super cute?! Ive always loved pompompurin, but for some reason ive never owned a plush of him... I adore this purin so much. ;__; Hes filled with beans and has an adorable button nose and eyes... My best friend and I played some ACNL together and spent the rest of our time at the cafe doodling together. We had fun drawing Yotsuba characters from memory... Afterwards, we visited a bar and had dinner there. I ate a delicious bowl of mac and cheese...

Ive started playing FFXIV lately as well. My best friend and I have been meaning to try it out for some time, but never got around to it until now. I have little experience with MMOs like this, but ive been enjoying myself nonetheless. Im still early on, so things are mostly uneventful and I've resigned myself to mostly completing fetch quests. But its very cozy... fantasy games have that kind of effect.

Friday 08.12.2022

I spent the day cooking and adventuring with my friends! We met up in the afternoon and drove around town running a few errands. We've been planning to cook udon together for the past week... it was either that or pizza, but cooking udon would give us an excuse to visit the asian market so thats what we ended up going with! Luckily for us, it seemed the asian market had recently restocked that day... We intended to only buy frozen udon noodles and fish roe, but we ended up buying a wide assortment of drinks and snacks. I bought some coffee milk and a couple of bottles of thai tea for my mom... Perusing the drinks sections has always been my favorite part of grocery shopping T__T So much variety and colorful packaging... After visiting another grocery store to retrieve the rest of our needed ingredients, we arrived at my friends' apartment and got to cooking... We sampled some of the snacks and drinks we bought as we prepared the meal. We made a delicious cream sauce out of onions, garlic, butter, mushrooms, spinach, heavy cream, and salt and pepper. We paired the sauce with the udon noodles and a mentaiko sauce made from fish roe and kewpie mayo... I mightve let the sauce sit for too long, because it was creamier and thicker than anticipated... It was a very hearty and enjoyable meal nonetheless... cooking with friends is so fun and rewarding. I'll definitely cook this cream udon again in the future..! So easy and yummy.... My friend's mom stopped by and had a bowl of the udon. My own mother wanted to try the udon too, so we ended up driving back into town to deliver the meal. I got some driving practice in, too... I was worried my mom wouldnt like the udon because she isnt the biggest fan of dairy or cream... but she told me she ate the entire bowl and rated it a 4.5/5 stars! I'll have to cook for more people from now on...

Wednesday 08.10.2022

I feel like my brain is stuffed with cotton..... i feel so very numb and understimulated... I woke up in the afternoon again, like I always do. It used to bother me a lot but I've taken to accepting my nearly nocturnal sleep schedule. No amount of melatonin or scheduling or alarms has ever remedied my impulsive need to stay up until 5 AM.... its more of a self-control problem than it is a sleep problem... Well, today I woke up feeling guilty about it. I tried to start my day off well, by eating a proper meal, by getting some fresh air outside... Its a bit hard to invigorate yourself for the day when the sun begins to set immediately afterwards. I tried to indulge in an activity that was supposed to be relaxing and fun, but I somehow ended up stressing myself out over it and became overwhelmed... I took a walk to empty my mind, walking around with some music can help me feel calm... but other times it leaves me alone with my thoughts, which was what ended up happening. I think I'm a pretty optimistic person-- As lazy as I am, Ive put a good amount of effort into improving myself and my life, but even then, sorta crummy days are an inevitably. Days like these are to be expected during summer breaks... I have an extended amount of free time and some days I'm too lazy to make any good use of it. And as a result I'm left feeling a bit guilty...

I desperately need to get off of social media. Its so easy to get locked into periods of endless scrolling... its absolutely mind numbing. I can't find any use for social media anymore... The entertainment I derive from it is fickle, and it only contributes to my lack of resolve/productivity. Other than messaging apps to keep in contact with friends, I need to make a better effort to get off of things like Twitter...

I'll end off this entry with some positive things... My friend knitted me a pair of adorable leg warmers. They go up to my knees and have little ruffly frilly detailings at the bottom... I absolutely adore them and Ive been making a greater effort to wear skirts on every outting so I can pair them with my leg warmers. They look super cute with my brown mary janes... I've also started watching Cardcaptor Sakura. Ive watched some of the early episodes before, but never stuck to completing the series. So i'll try to do that... I've been in the mood to watch something cute and vaguely nostalgic, so Cardcaptor Sakura feels very fitting. I debated watching Chobits because I was kind of in love with Chi as a kid, but I also remember strongly disliking her male love interest. (Maybe i was jealous... or maybe I was justified... or both?) At the time of writing, I've taken a couple melatonin gummies and hopefully they'll help me sleep earlier than I usually would... I'd like to fix my sleeping schedule, even if its only for the remainder of my break... Tomorrow I'll try to have a nicer day..! Writing this entry has already made me feel better... I'm glad I have Cloverbell. Its like a warm, welcoming home...

Friday 08.06.2022

Today my friends and i visited a local salt mine together.
I remember visiting the salt mine once during an elementary school field trip, but I havent been back since! It was a very hot and humid summer day, but the temperature was nice and mild once we boarded an elevator and travelled 600 feet below the ground... Our visit was a lot of fun. There was a little train down there that you could board, and it would tour you around the mine... I learned a lot about mines and rock formations. Did you know that a lot of words used to describe the human anatomy are also used to describe mines? Mines have a head, a back, a stomach, and ribs... I think mines and caves are really cool... and scary... and cool because its scary... Walking around the mine and seeing rows upon rows of identical stone pillars, stretching infinitely into the darkness... I had a lot of fun imagining ominous figures standing around in the shadows.

After we finished exploring to our hearts content, we stopped by a nearby dead mall. The mall is completely vacant save for a few stores, and I wanted to visit the used games store to see if I could find a cheap copy of ACNL. (I want to start another town...) The store didnt have what I was looking for, unfortunately, but we managed to stumble across an antiques store. The store was selling a bunch of those old porcelein figurines that grandmas tend to collect... Like precious moments dolls and stuff. Maybe I'm becoming a grandma, but I thought they were all so adorable.... there were little bears and farm animals in little dresses holding little props...... I was surprised at how detailed each one was.
I ended up falling in love with this cow figurine. Isnt she adorable?! Shes a cute little cow lady with an adorable gingham dress and a little bouquet of flowers! She has a little ruffly bonnet, and little yellow horns... and a tiny daisy tucked behind her ear. Look at the detailed lace... its shaped like small flowers... she even has a cute tail. On the bottom of the figurine, it says "Milk Maid". ....Shes a milk maid.... because shes a cow...!!!!! Obviously i ended up leaving with her. Top ten lune purchases for sure... I dont know what to name her yet, but it would be nice to fit a cow pun in there somehow. Let me know if you have any ideas, cow pun or not...

After eating out for dinner, I stopped by my best friend's apartment and we played through the forest dungeon in Windwaker. I read a lot of Yotsuba once i got home...

Saturday 07.29.2022

For whatever reason, in the past year or so I’ve become increasingly more self conscious about the quality of my writing and speaking. To be fair, this has always been a problem for me. English is not my first language, and I spent a lot of my childhood unable to communicate with classmates and peers. But at the same time…. It’s even harder for me to communicate in Vietnamese nowadays. Despite my initial lack of proficiency in English, growing up in America made it easy for me to become a native English speaker, while my Vietnamese suffered because I had few opportunities to practice it.
I just have so many thoughts and feelings that I desperately want to convey with those around me, but I do not have the vocabulary, articulation, or fluency necessary to do so. (Regardless of what language I’m communicating in…) Talking to my mom about my feelings is the hardest thing in the world… Not because its difficult to be vulnerable, but because I cannot communicate to her with my limited Vietnamese vocabulary. I was just never taught any words that could be used to describe anything internal or nuanced. Even though I was able to work a summer job as a Vietnamese translator, every time I try to open up in Vietnamese, I just get the feeling that I’m speaking complete nonsense. It’s the same way in English, though I am much more articulate in English…. I just don’t feel like I’m utilizing my vocabulary to its fullest extent. I feel like I could be saying much more, but whenever I speak or write a sentence into existence it only describes a fraction of what I intended.
The way I communicate feels stiff… even writing this entry is difficult. T__T This insecurity has even made it difficult for me to reread things like text messages without cringing… I just get the impression that everything I say is broken and incoherent. Of course, I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong about lacking in speech and writing… it’s more of a frustration with myself. I just hope people around me are patient and understanding with me and my word salads, because I really do struggle and I’m trying my best to improve… it’s just a really frustrating feeling, wanting to communicate your thoughts but being hindered by your lack of articulation and fluency.
(Due to the subject of this diary entry I tried my hardest to write this as clearly as I could)

Saturday 07.23.2022

New diary layout!!! I've been putting off writing in my previous diary so i could finish this layout... im happy with it. T__T
Today was quite hot, but I decided to brave the heat and walk to my neighborhood grocery store to buy something to snack on... yesterday I discovered that my nearby grocery store sells boxes of fresh cocktail shrimp for quite cheap, so I was determined to buy myself some shrimp. (and i did) I poured myself a glass of the expensive milk I bought yesterday as soon as I got home from my walk. It was very sweet and refreshing... I can never go back to cheap low fat milk... I decided to spend my afternoon cleaning and tidying up my room. I organized my art supplies, plushies, clothes... As I was cleaning through my room, I found an unopened package containing a small pair of overalls that I had purchased for my Rilakkuma doll a long while ago. I mustve forgotten to open it... I let my Rilakkuma doll try it on immediately. Isnt he super cute!? I'll probably keep him in these overalls for the summer and change him into his sweater as the weather gets colder... I then spent some time tinkering with my site and working on my new diary layout. I'm pretty happy with it, though I may make adjustments in the coming days! After dinner, I read a couple chapters of Yotsuba. My best friend has been lending volumes to me, and I've been reading it every night... I deeply adore it! Im about 7 volumes in now. I may play some happy home designer before heading to bed...

Friday 07.22.2022

Today I spent the day relaxing and having fun with my dear friends. I woke up a bit earlier than I usually do to meet up with my best friend. We went to my neighborhood grocery store and met up with our other friend…. We had been planning to cook Alfredo and steak all week, and decided to grocery shop for the ingredients together. Grocery shopping with my friends was a lot of fun… we ended up buying a few extra things that caught our eye, like some fresh cocktail shrimp and a glass bottle of milk from a local farm…. The milk we bought was more on the expensive side, but I’ve never had milk that wasn’t super cheap lactose-free milk so my friends insisted I had to try it… When we met up at my best friend’s apartment, I poured myself a glass of the milk. It was really tasty…. I might be a milk fan now…. I drank several more glasses throughout the day. My friends and I all cooked together and it was a lot of fun. My best friend is a really skilled cook… along with my best friend’s room mate, we all had a lovely home cooked dinner together. The meal we prepared was really delicious…. After our meal, we dawdled around a bit before setting out on a walk at the forest near my best friend’s apartment. The forest trail is very dense and pretty, especially as the sun was setting and fireflies began to appear and twinkle about…. We even crossed a creek and explored a bit of the other side of the forest. After our walk, we spent the rest of the night playing Windwaker together. It was my first time playing it, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I’ll have to play more of it! After I got home, I read a few chapters of yotsuba and explored some neocities sites before heading to sleep..

Welcome to my diary!

Hiya, and welcome to my diary, a cozy text home for my musings to live in! Here i'll document my daily life and tangential ramblings.
Thanks for reading..! ☆

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